Thursday, October 5, 2017

Speak Truth Over Yourself

Honesty time: I've been feeling way less than worthy the past few weeks. As if God turned His face from me and walked away. 

I know that can't possibly be true because God loves us and never lets us go. But I just can't shake the feeling.

It's as if He's poured all of Himself into me, constantly giving me different ideas and opportunities... and I just keep shoving them aside. 

I can hear Him thinking, What's the use... she's never going to do what I wanted her to do. Onto to the next girl that will actually carry out my plan. 

I'm a halfway success. Barely there, but not enough to make it all the way through. 

I heard a sermon the other day and I seriously thought God told the pastor to speak directly to me. Because I felt every word directed at me, or rather my situation.

And I thought, you know what I don't think I'm the only one that's feeling like this... so here I am writing this out.

He said: YOU have a place. And God has not forgotten about you. God has a place for you. 

I tried so hard not to cry. (And if you know me well, you know that's impossible)... so the tears dripped the side of my face as I intently clung to his words. 

Why is it that I always think God is against me? Just as my mind started this battle of reminding me of my mishaps and failures... I started to remember certain verses that contradicted every.single.lie I was telling myself. 

Here's how it went:

Barbara: But He left me... I failed Him.

God: Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. (Deuteronomy 31:6)

Barbara: I'll never be able to do that. I want to, but I just see no way.

God: Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 1:6) 

Case in point: Jesus will NEVER leave us.

Through this, I've realized the importance of speaking truth over ourselves.

And we need to do it constantly because every day is a new day. Don't believe the lies.

We are worthy, we are worth it, He will never leave us, He will never turn His back on us, and He'll never give up on us.

YOU are significant and don't forget to speak truth over yourself, speak truth. 

Tuesday, October 3, 2017

Lifestyle Portraits | Daniella

I met with Daniella at the Ross Dock Picnic Area park for her portraits, and we had the best time. We met a few years ago both working for a school and I always remembered how sweet she was, and our obsession and love for traveling the world. 

The air was crisp, and a few colorful leaves had fallen with their hint of yellow to give us the feeling of the Autumn season ahead of us. We talked about our trips abroad, laughed about different experiences, and talked about future dreams. Daniella is the type of person you could meet once and feel like you've been friends forever. 

Towards the end, we got so caught up with our stories we ended up making a wrong turn... but no worries we quickly turned around and laughed it off! ;) Thank you again Daniella, you are beautiful and totally rocked your shoot!

Monday, September 25, 2017

Year Six

Sideways photo because sometimes life is messy and not the way you planned... but you gotta throw the confetti up and squeal like your teenage girl self anyway! ;)

Today marks 6 years since I wrote the first words on this blog. Craziness right?!

I remember going back and forth... delete, write, delete, write. I didn't know whether this was something I should begin or not. 

I mean what could I possibly share that would add meaning to anyone's life?

I was interested in photography and loved to write, so after a long battle with self-doubt... I just hit publish. 

I'm so happy I did. This little blog of mine has grown me and lead me into so much more than I ever even imagined it would. 

I've met so many wonderful people and got to be a little part of their story, pushed myself beyond my comfort zone, and got to be part of some pretty amazing things. 

It's scary to put yourself out there. Show others your true colors, because that means you run the risk of some people not liking you.

// This is perhaps the greatest risk that any of us will take... to be seen as we truly are. // ~Cinderella  
It's something I've battled since I was a little kid in school, and I still do.

But then someone said something that really got to me, "If you don't have an outlet for your intake... you will stagnate."

Meaning if you keep learning, seeing, hearing... but never putting that potential anywhere, eventually you will stop moving altogether. 

To me that is the biggest risk and scariest thing of all. If God created me with a unique character and gave me specific gifts... I want to use them all.

Even if you think it won't lead anywhere, or your words, ideas, heart can't reach anyone... do it anyway!

Create something to grow yourself and to keep learning. Who you are can't ever be replicated... so share it. 

And whatever you do, never stop learning. Always remember even the expert was once a beginner. 

It's been 6 years... but it's only the beginning. Thank you so much for those of you that continue to follow along my words, the photographs, projects, and ideas I post. 

Even though I can't see who you are... this little home means the world to me, so thank you from my whole sappy-cries-for-everything-I-wish-I-could-give-you-a-big-hug heart of mine to yours. 

Here's to never giving up on your dreams, and most of all on who you were created to be.