Barbara Marcella

Honesty time: I've been feeling way less than worthy the past few weeks. As if God turned His face from me and walked away. 

I know that can't possibly be true because God loves us and never lets us go. But I just can't shake the feeling.

It's as if He's poured all of Himself into me, constantly giving me different ideas and opportunities... and I just keep shoving them aside. 

I can hear Him thinking, What's the use... she's never going to do what I wanted her to do. Onto to the next girl that will actually carry out my plan. 

I'm a halfway success. Barely there, but not enough to make it all the way through. 

I heard a sermon the other day and I seriously thought God told the pastor to speak directly to me. Because I felt every word directed at me, or rather my situation.

And I thought, you know what I don't think I'm the only one that's feeling like this... so here I am writing this out.

He said: YOU have a place. And God has not forgotten about you. God has a place for you. 

I tried so hard not to cry. (And if you know me well, you know that's impossible)... so the tears dripped the side of my face as I intently clung to his words. 

Why is it that I always think God is against me? Just as my mind started this battle of reminding me of my mishaps and failures... I started to remember certain verses that contradicted every.single.lie I was telling myself. 

Here's how it went:

Barbara: But He left me... I failed Him.

God: Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. (Deuteronomy 31:6)

Barbara: I'll never be able to do that. I want to, but I just see no way.

God: Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 1:6) 

Case in point: Jesus will NEVER leave us.

Through this, I've realized the importance of speaking truth over ourselves.

And we need to do it constantly because every day is a new day. Don't believe the lies.

We are worthy, we are worth it, He will never leave us, He will never turn His back on us, and He'll never give up on us.

YOU are significant and don't forget to speak truth over yourself, speak truth.